Sacrifice

It’s been nearly a decade,
but I still think
about that one day…

I was only home two days,
attempting to begin healing
physically, mentally, and emotionally,
when you decided
I needed to know.

You called me a selfish monster,
a hateful beast,
and blamed me for destroying something
that hadn’t existed in years.
You decided
I wasn’t broken enough,
so you unleashed
your bitterness, your anger,
and aimed it at the fresh wound
in my chest.

You told me I needed to learn
how to make sacrifices
for the benefit of others,
but I guess carving out
my own heart
and giving it to someone
who needed it more
wasn’t enough.

So you broke me further,
the one I had always been told
I could count on,
no matter what;
you twisted my vulnerability,
clawed at my mind,
and ripped apart
what was left
of my sanity.

But I’m still here.
I put back the pieces as best I could;
I’ll never be the same,
not with all the gaps
where some pieces
were obliterated,
but I’m alive.
I’m living.

And you’re still
just a
bitter
old
bitch.

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Imperfections

I sit alone within myself,
taking stock of all the things
I deem broken and useless.
Too often I seek to destroy
everything that makes me unique;
I know my imperfections are mine,
they are Me,
but I can’t help but wonder sometimes:
What if they didn’t exist?
And each time a small voice
huddled somewhere in the corner
behind the clutter whispers,
“Then neither would you.”